Sunday, February 01, 2009

Nothing New Here ...

Its been so long since I last blogged. I just need to keep this thing alive.

I'm on Facebook and Google Groups and at least two e-mail accounts. Makes for a lot of computer time. Gotta get more comfortable chairs.

I'm sitting here on the first Sunday of February, holding my breath like everyone else. The sun is shining today, its warm for February -- 35 degrees. I'm warm, comfortable, reasonably well fed. Ran 10 miles this morning just to make myself tired and really, really hungry. Where am I going from here?

At my age, I am now starting to think that maybe I've lived through the best it will ever get, and its only going to go downhill from here. But then I think, jeez, its been bad as hell all around my little upper-middle-class bubble -- probably all my life.

I've worked hard all my life, if you can count white-collar 50-hour-workweeks as "hard" work on a global standard. I think I work pretty hard for my money today, too. But sometimes wonder whether I'm really adding value to the world for all of my "hard" work.

So I'm holding my breath. Where do we go from here? Where do I go from here? What can I do to help and protect those around me -- especially those who depend on me for their well being? I'm thinking about that a lot lately; and fervently hoping that we'll all find a way to work together to make a better world to work in, raise families and care for our elders in, to play in ... and so it goes.

I'm confident in the resilience of my children and their generation. I think they already live in that better world; they've made it so for me and mine. I look to them as role models now for leading us into their future.

Hope and fear, joy and shame, peace and anxiety -- all these are playing around with my head to day. On one of my long, uphill climbs running St. Paul's High Bridge yesterday, I came up with a simple motivating mantra. It worked yesterday as I challenged my physical abilities. Maybe it can work for all my remaining tomorrows, trying to live good and useful for the rest of my time on earth.

"You can, if you do."


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